


The Experience of Now

by Crollalanza



Series: Advent Winter Challenge [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Past Relationships, Pining, getting together or not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:01:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21988528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crollalanza/pseuds/Crollalanza
Summary: In his playing career, Tendou Satori's instincts had served him well ninety-eight percent of the time (okay, maybe it was more like ninety-five percent, or ninety if you pushed it) but facing a hot chocolate bearing Kita, and his instincts go koo-koo crazy. For Kita Shinsuke is the most beautiful man Satori's ever seen and couldn't possibly be interested in an obnoxious dumbass like him.
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke/Tendou Satori
Series: Advent Winter Challenge [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1565479
Comments: 12
Kudos: 45
Collections: Haikyuu Cold and Cozy Bingo, Haikyuu!!





	The Experience of Now

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tookumade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tookumade/gifts).



> This story was written for the cozy winter bingo. The prompt was hot chocolate' and the main character was chosen by San who asked for Tendou/? 
> 
> (Of course I chose Kita)

_Every. Single.Time. Gahhhd, when will I learn? Jeez, this ain’t cool!_

Hearing footsteps, Tendou closed the tab and hurriedly wiped his cheek with the back of his hand. He sniffed heavily before looking up, but there was a space where the person should be.

A voice from the shared kitchen floated towards him. “I’m making hot chocolate, Tendou. Would you like one?”

His lips began their automatic response to hearing Kita, an upward curve and the goofiest of smiles. “That’d be great thanks,” he rasped, wishing he’d swallowed down the lump in his throat before replying.

It was a matter of minutes before Kita entered his room. Carrying two mugs, both topped with swirls of cream and cocoa powder and one bedecked with marshmallows, he set the one without marshmallows on Tendou’s desk and hovered in the doorway.

“Hey, don’t stand on ceremony there,” Tendou queried, then realising what a tip his room was hurriedly removed a stack of clothes from a chair. “Sorry, sorry!”

“I didn’t know if you wanted to be alone,” Kita said, but took the proffered seat.

“Nope. Not me. I’m not doing anything much. Just … chilling,” he babbled.

Picking up his drink he navigated his mouth through the mound of cream, took a sip and then smacked his lips together. “Ahhh, you remembered.”

“Marshmallows _under_ the cream. Of course.” 

“No one understands me like you do,” Tendou said, emitting a deep melodramatic sigh.

“It’s the aesthetic people don’t understand,” Kita replied, that to anyone listening would have sounded serious but Tendou recognises the tease in his tone.

Yes he felt the need to explain. “I like that sudden film of sweetness. The gooey fluff sticking to my teeth. You can’t get that if the darn marshmallows are on top of the cream!”

“That,” Kita said gravely, “is where the spoon comes in. Tendou-kun, let me introduce you to the concept of … stirring.”

“No … NO, that’s a concept too far, Kita-kun. You can’t expect me to shift to your way of thinking so suddenly!”

“It’s been nine months.”

“But I’m set in my ways.” He leant back in his chair, grinning across at him. “I first discovered my method by accident, ya know. I thought we didn’t have any squirty cream, so added marshmallows first then Eita came in and he shared his secret stash…” He trailed off, noticing Kita was staring at him with a rather odd expression on his face, tentative as if expecting something consequential from the story. “Sorry, this is really boring. One day I’ll send it to Boring Anecdotes dot com.”

“It’s not boring,” Kita murmured. “If you need to talk, Tendou-kun, then I’m always here.”

“About marshmallows?” He frowned, wondering what else Kita needed to know. That they were sweet and went gooey when hot, kind of melty in the mouth and—

Kita closed his eyes and then stirred his drink. “Yes, if that helps.”

“Uhm … sure.” He sipped some more of the chocolate, then sniffed as the steam went up his nose.

And Kita leant right across, stretched out his hand and squeezed Tendou on the shoulder. “I mean it. Anytime.”

“Well … uh … Thanks,” he mumbled back, then swung his hand over to take Kita’s. “And same here, okay? You need to chat about anything, Kita-kun, and I’m your guy!”

They shared a look, Kita dropping his eyes first, removing his hand from Tendou’s shoulder and finishing his chocolate. They talked for a while longer, nothing deep, but inconsequential stuff about halls and cleaning rotas and when they were leaving for the winter break.

“Are you catching up with the team?” Tendou asked, watching closely in case Kita betrayed anything. (A ridiculous idea, Kita was as composed as he always was.)

“I’ll see Aran. We live near each other. We might surprise them all at practise.”

“How will the new captain cope with that?” Tendou wondered, then bit his lip when he realised he’d said that out loud.

“The responsibilities of being captain appear to have tamed Atsumu according to Suna-kun,” said Kita in a way that for anyone else would sound pompous but Tendou found faintly endearing

“Whereas Shirabu’s become even more of a shit,” he laughed. “Gotta say, I’m pretty sure I’ll be as welcome at practise as a blister on his precious setter finger tips.”

So … you’re going anyway,” Kita stated.

He had a smudge of cream on his nose, which he appeared unaware of, and Tendou gave a rueful smile wondering whether to tell him because it looked so unKita-like, but at the same time it was sweet.

He collected his thoughts away from offering to dab it off. _What were we talking about? Oh yeah, the team._

“Ahhh, not sure. Might be a bit raw for ‘em seeing us turn up. This is the third Nationals in a row we’ve not qualified for.”

“They might appreciate the support. You do know what they’re going through, don’t you?”

“Ouch!”

“I am only stating facts. You did lose to Karasuno.”

“Hey, so did you!” He yelped as if wounded, then snarled, “By the way, you’ve got cream on your nose, Captain Kita.”

Taking no offence at the tone, Kita dabbed his nose with a tissue, then got to his feet. “You should go. It might help.”

“I doubt they’ll see it like that.” But he could feel his cheeks flame, for the fact that Kita thought he could help his old team meant … quite a lot, now he thought about it.

Kita cleared his throat. “I didn’t mean _them_ , Tendou-kun.”

Huh? What the heck did that mean?

But he couldn’t question his interrogator because he’d left and before Tendou could yell out a ‘What?’ he heard Kita’s door close.

He chewed the side of his cheek. Must be a volleyball thing, but Kita was mistaken. He was fine playing college volleyball, but not too seriously. The team was a fun one, not in it for glory or to make their names, and Tendou kinda liked that, reminding him why he’d taken to the sport in the first place before he got bogged down with his thirst to score points on court and off people. The loss to Karasuno might have stung a bit, but that was all. It had been a glorious game. He inhaled deeply remembering.

In the end, he’d been fine with losing his ‘paradise’ because he’d had the experience of Nationals. He looked back with great fondness to High School because it was there where he’d finally found a place. And yet here at college, he slid in and out of the team, had a social life beyond the court, and was … settled. Yeah. Settled.

I mean there were one or two things he’d like to change, but he was working on that.

 _Maybe I should drop in on the guys. Could be fun. Wonder if Shirabu’s chilled his shit now._ He bit the side of his thumb. _Hey what if Goshiki’s the new captain?_

He reached for his phone, hammered out a message to send to the old third year’s chat, and hit send.

Then, feeling better, he finished his hot chocolate, luxuriating in the melted cream now mixing with the marshmallows. Kita really did make his drink to perfection... but then what else was new?

It started to snow in the night, and although he didn’t wake to see a ‘blanket’ outside his window, there was enough for him to gurgle a laugh and rush out into the corridor on his way to the kitchen. “IT’S SNOWING!” he yelled to his hallmates, and was greeted with a few moans and a ‘SHUT UP TENDOU!’ but as he made himself a coffee, winced over the lack of milk in the fridge, then picked at a handful of cereal eating it dry as he watched a bird out of the window hopping on the snow.

Hearing footsteps he turned and wasn’t at all surprised to see Kita, dressed in a scarf, hat, gloves and thick coat returning with groceries.

“I bought milk,” he said. “Get yourself a bowl.”

“Nah, prefer it dry,” Tendou replied. “But I wouldn’t say no to a slurp in my coffee. Kettle’s still hot, do you want one?”

“Mmm, please.” He finished unpacking his bag, putting burger rolls into his cupboard and a small jar of herbs, before opening the fridge and placing a pack of tofu on his designated half of a shelf. (Noticing a slight flicker of consternation cross his brow as he spied an unwrapped lemon, Tendou smothered a giggle and boiled the kettle again.)

_Tofu … must be planning on burgers tonight._

_His favourite._

_Oh._

_Is he upset? Or is he treating himself because something great’s happened?_

He didn’t look particularly sad, or happy, or anything. But then Kita didn’t often show any emotion, it was more a matter of hint and suggestion, and then some guessing and instinct on Tendou’s part. Focusing closer as he drank his now extra milky coffee, Tendou analysed not just Kita’s expression, but the way he held himself. His gait—what he could see of it as he walked from the fridge to the table—was surefooted and not plodding. His shoulders were straight. Not tense or drooping, and apart from his hair which was a little mussed up from his hat, there was nothing at all in his outward appearance or his voice to suggest an extreme of emotion at all.

_And it’s not his birthday, cuz that’s in July …_

Kita stared back at him. “You’re scrutinising me very closely. It’s like we’re on court.”

_Come clean._

“You’ve bought tofu and burger rolls – something to celebrate?”

A tiny smile.

“The tofu was reduced. Sell by date today.” He clicked his tongue. “You’re slipping, Tendou-kun. Making assumptions before you’ve checked all the data.”

Shrugging, somewhat dramatically, Tendou groaned, “What can I say? I guessed wrong!” Then his eyes narrowed. “That’s a lot of tofu though, and you coulda bought two buns, not four. Have you got a visitor, Kita-kun?”

He shook his head, blew across his steaming coffee cup and replied, “Only you, if you’d care to join me, Tendou-kun. Last meal before you head home for the break.”

“I’ll bring ice cream!” Tendou exclaimed, gave a grin then hurriedly wiped it off his face because he remembered Goshiki saying that Tendou-san smiling was scary.

“In this weather?” Kita mock shuddered. “Besides the weather’s going to get worse, so unless you have some already …” He sighed seeing Tendou’s expression. “You do have a stash, don’t you?”

“Yup, hidden at the back of the freezer in the plain box, just so’s the others don’t pile in.”

“Aren’t you scared I’ll eat it all now?”

“You’re too … _honourable_ ,” Tendou replied, “and I’m not even sure you like ice cream.”

“Maybe,” Kita replied, his lips twitching as he slowly stood up, and pushed his chair back under the table. “I need to get on with some work before term ends, but I will see you later. Seven ish?”

 _Which meant seven exactly._ Tendou nodded then tilted his head to the side as he watched Kita leave the kitchen. It wasn’t unusual for Kita to invite him to eat a meal together, but usually it coincided with a practise session or a movie both of them were planning to watch. This felt more … more as if it were about the meal, rather than the necessity of eating. Like he appreciated the company, wanted the company, perhaps, to share something with.

Hell, it actually felt like a date.

_No, don’t be dumb, Satori, we’re not at that stage yet. He’s given no indication he even thinks of you in that way, so don’t—absolutely don’t—get your hopes up._

Later, when his phone started beeping and the group chat sparked into life, he read the first couple of messages and pulled a face on seeing the next three piling up with excuses. He started to tap out replies, but on hearing Kita in the kitchen , he decided to join him and not waste his energy on berating and persuasion.

“I tweaked the marinade,” Kita said, as he started to grill the tofu burgers. “I added a little more spice as it’s cold outside.”

“Sounds good,” Tendou murmured, involuntarily shivering as he stared at the snow on the pavement.

“Are things all right with you, Tendou-kun?”

“Huh?”

“You seem distracted this evening.”

“Sorry. Can I help at all?” He attached a smile on his face, but Kita was giving him with a concerned look and his mouth drooped. “It’s nothing, really. Just the guys are unavailable when I go home, so my idea … well your idea I guess to show some support for the team has kinda fallen flat.”

“Unavailable?” Kita frowned as he pulled out the grill pan.

“Wakatoshi and Hayato have matches, Jin’s with his family, Reon might be around, depending on his job and Eita’s being … vague. Really annoying.” 

“They’re all busy?”

Tendou shrugged. “I get it, you know. We boarded at school, and not everyone has family close by. I … it woulda been nice getting together with the guys again, but looks like it ain’t to be.”

“Semi-san is being vague?” Kita questioned.

“Probably trying to be enigmatic. Or he’s hooked up with someone else.” He shrugged and his thoughts turned to the ice cream in the freezer, wondering whether to take it out now so it was easier to scoop than being a frozen block.

“Sorry.” Kita clattered the grill, flipping over the burgers then clicking his tongue when one landed half off the pan. “I’ll eat that one.”

Surprised, Tendou flicked his attention back Kita’s way, a little perturbed by Kita’s clumsiness. “Hey, don’t stress. I’m sure it’s fine. Besides, you know me, appetite of a sparrow.” He grinned at Kita’s arched eyebrow. “I know, I know, you think I should eat more, but, feh, what are you going to do?”

“Your tiny appetite doesn’t appear to be affected by ice cream. I’ve seen you wade through a tub before now.”

“Ice cream doesn’t count. Besides I need the sugar.”

“These are almost done,” Kita said.

“Shall I lay the table?” Tendou asked and gave a sweeping bow.

Kita didn’t laugh, but chewed his lip. “Abe-kun has asked if we could keep the kitchen free this evening. He hasn’t said, but I think he’s planning a romantic meal with his girlfriend, so how about we sit in my room?”

“Ah … yeah, cool. Lemme get the ice cream and bowls.”

Kita’s room was always tidy, not clinically so, but everything had its place and he made sure nothing was left out longer than it had to be. As Tendou wandered in, he noticed the work Kita had been doing was stacked on the side of his desk, along with his laptop. He’d also cleared some space by rolling up his futon, and had brought out a low table already set with glasses and a jug of water.

“This is very civilised, Kita-kun. I usually just eat on my bed.” He cocked his head to the side. “But then I’m a slob.”

“I hate to disillusion you, but I do that too. Or else I sit at my desk.”

Tendou sank to the floor, crossing his legs. “I’m honoured.”

“Why? We’ve eaten together before?”

True.

“This feels … um … different,” Tendou replied and fixed him with what he hoped was a meaningful expression.

Kita blinked, joined him at the table, before handing over the burgers, and then pouring Tendou a glass of water.

“These are good!” Tendou said, halfway through eating his first burger. “Getting a great lemony taste, too.”

“Mmm, I find it cuts through the oil—“ He stopped abruptly as his phone vibrated, stopped, then vibrated again.

“You can take that,” Tendou said, when the phone had beeped for the fourth time.

“It’s Atsumu. He can wait.”

“How do you know?”

“Because he never sends one complete message but a barrage.”

“Ah.” He continued eating, wondering why the food seemed less satisfying now and the atmosphere had lost its lightness. “Might be important.”

Kita was not someone who rolled his eyes, but he gave a similar gesture before finally checking his phone then placing it face down on the floor. “It’s Atsumu letting off steam. He’s had a row with Osamu. He doesn’t expect an answer, just an audience.”

Tendou carried on eating, not catching Kita’s eye, but had he imagined the faint tinge of bitterness, or was he projecting?

As if realising the atmosphere had thickened, Kita changed the subject asking Tendou not about his plans for the break (which quite honestly looked to be in tatters) but what he hoped from the new year.

“Same old, same old,” Tendou replied, shrugging, but then thinking that sounded meanspirited, he chuckled. “You know, I’m kinda cool with things the way they are. Love my course, like getting the odd no-pressure game, and I have pretty decent hallmates. One of them cooks …” he gave a chef’s kiss to the air, “beautifully.”

“You don’t want anything to change?”

 _Was it time to shake things up a touch?_ Putting down the burger, Tendou sipped his water, and then stared directly into Kita’s eyes. “We all have to move forward. I’m currently enjoying the ride, but if things were to … uh … go off on a new path, I wouldn’t be … um … averse.”

“Your burger’s getting cold,” Kita said and lowered his gaze.

“What about you, Kita-kun?” Tendou asked. “What are your hopes for the new year?”

“Ah. I’ll be honest with you. I see the change of date as just that.”

You don’t go to the shrine, or anything like that?” He stared at Kita, aghast, but not—he realised— altogether surprised.

He smiled. “I go to the shrine. My granny thinks it’s important and I would never disappoint her. I like the rituals, in a dispassionate way, but …” He trailed off then took a breath. “Perhaps I’m rather like you and I’m enjoying the experience of now. Eat up.”

“Need to save space for ice cream,” Tendou said, smirking, but he picked up his second burger and tucked in.

The experience of now … that sounded promising. Unless he just meant eating. The trouble with Kita was he gave so little away. They got on well. There was, Tendou thought, a frisson between them, but he could be reading it wrong, and maybe the frisson was all on his side, an admiration because gosh darnnit the guy was ridiculously hot and so freaking calm and collected he made Ice-Prince Eita look like a snowman three days after the thaw had set in.

 _What is it about me and beautiful guys?_ he thought wistfully. _Can I honestly expect lightning to strike twice and he’d be remotely attracted to my obnoxious personality?_

Then he grinned. _He liked Atsumu and I can’t be worse than him!_

After burgers, and after Tendou had carried the plates to the kitchen, causing Abe to glare at him, they sat on floor cushions, while Tendou broached the ice cream question.

“Just one scoop for me,” Kita said.

“You don’t have to have any,” Tendou replied. “I won’t be offended, although this is vanilla and fudge chocolate, so you should be begging me for more.”

“It’s … cold,” Kita mumbled.

“Huh?”

“I know, I know that’s daft because of course it’s cold, but it sets my teeth on edge and the thought of biting into it—” He shuddered.

“Oh no, no, nooooo, Kita-kun, you gotta experience it properly, slurp it off a spoon so it melts in your mouth. Let your tongue lap at it so you can experience every flavour.”

“There speaks the gourmet.”

“Hey, I know what I like, and when it comes to ice cream, I like it a lot.”

They leant back against the wall; Kita tentatively tried the ice cream, with Tendou’s faint coaching. But at the sight of his tongue lapping at the spoon and the smile curving the corners of his mouth as the intensity of flavours hit, Tendou dragged his attention away, staring at his own bowl. His hands shook.

“Maybe I should go,” he muttered.

“Oh. Do you still have packing to do? Only I was going to suggest we watch a movie.”

“That would be … um …”

“Your choice,” Kita assured him. “Or find one of those shows you like so much and introduce me to it.”

“Introduce you to my shockingly bad taste! I’d like us to remain friends, Kita-kun,” he said and laughed.

Kita didn’t join in. “Taste is subjective and not good or bad. We might find something we both like, who knows?”

“Then, yeah, okay, that’d be great. My packing can wait.” He gave a grin. “I only need to throw some socks and shirts into a bag. OOOOH, I can see you wincing already. Seriously, though, thank you for this – the food and company…” He wondered whether to edge closer, but Kita interrupted.

“You seemed a little … um … upset earlier and then what with your plans falling through, I thought you might appreciate a distraction. And … please remember, if you do need to talk, then I’m here, Tendou-kun.”

“Um… sure.”

_Upset earlier? Oh … yeah, I guess I was._

He turned back to Kita, about o offer to clear the bowls, but he’d already got to his feet, bowls in his hand, and had picked up his phone. “TV remote’s on the side, or find something online. I should message Atsumu or he’ll combust.”

He was back from the kitchen quickly, having been given the same treatment by Abe as Tendou had, and sat at his desk tapping out a reply. Under guise of looking for a show, Tendou scrutinised him closely, waiting to see if his expression would change from one of mild exasperation to sadness.

He knew they’d been an item, and Atsumu had visited once or twice at the beginning of the year, staying over on one occasion. Tendou had never got to the bottom of why they’d split. He’d not thought himself in a position to ask, and Kita had volunteered nothing except that they weren’t together. He’d not appeared to be upset, but then that was Kita all over.

He had a mild tightening of his lips as he replied, a barely audible sigh, and then after shaking his head, Kita turned his phone off and rejoined Tendou on the floor. “Found anything?”

“Hum, well, I always like this. It’s kinda chill and you can dip in and out.”

“Oh…” Kita smiled. “Mushishi, wonderful!”

“Great, figured it’s something everything loves. I always wanted to be as cool as Ginko, but—” he pulled his hair down over one eye, letting it go and chuckling when it bounced straight back. “—my hair was always against me. You, however…”

“Would not have taken to the smoking,” Kita countered.

The music started up and just as he had when he was a kid, Tendou’s head rocked from side to side. He started to warble the song, and then just as he was thinking he really should shut up, Kita added his voice.

_**‘And every single step of the way, hey hey hey hey,  
Every single night and day…’**_

He was bobbing his head too, and the distance between them, both physical and mental, seemed to have vanished to a hair’s breadth. Tendou turned his face towards Kita, just as Kita turned his way. There was a momentary pause, a split-second where either one could have stopped, but hearing an indrawn breath, Tendou closed his eyes and moved in even closer.

Their lips touched, a little awkward with the angle, but Kita didn’t pull away, instead he increased the pressure, moving his mouth to a more central position.

And Tendou wasn’t sure how long it lasted, it could have been minutes, or seconds, because his mind raced at the sensations coursing through him. He lifted his hand, intending to cup Kita’s face, to intensify the kiss, but just as his fingertips graced Kita’s cheek, the kiss stopped.

Kita pulled away. “No.”

“Huh?”

_Wow, I know I’m out of practise but am I really that bad?_

“I’m… I’m … I can’t. This …”

He was floundering, jerking his face away and his hands were clenched into fists, held up to his chest as if warding off an attack.

“Kita? I’m sorry … I thought … Look, forget it. It’s my fault. Let’s watch Mushishi and—”

“Rebound,” Kita murmured. “I can’t. Sorry.”

_Oh._

“Um … yeah. I get it. Sorry.” He sniffed. “I’ll … um … Think I’ll go and pack.” He stood up, straightening his back and trying to look as dignified as he possibly could with head held high and shoulders facing front, no hint of slouching.

_**‘I searched for you, through sand storms and hazy dawns I reached for you.’**_

“Dinner was great, Kita-kun, thanks. I’ll … uh … maybe see you tomorrow before I leave.”

And then he left before Kita could stop him, not that he thought Kita had any intention of doing so as he was still sat on the floor, his hand to his mouth. Shutting his bedroom door behind him, Tendou stared at his reflection in the window then slammed his head hard against the wall.

DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!

Rejection, he’d considered. Kita turning his head away, saying he didn’t feel the same way, or he’d rather they remained friends only, had only too frequently crossed his mind. But right at that moment, trusting the instincts that served him so well on court, he’d taken the chance feeling the time was right.

He’d not imagined that Kita was actually in love with Miya Atsumu. Hadn’t ever thought it was that serious.

But … rebound.

 _Ah well, at least I know_.

He’d missed some messages on his phone, so maybe now he’s catch up: Reon said he was around over the break, Yamagata thought it was a great idea and he’d squeeze it in if he could…

And a private message from Eita.

**[[Hey, I will be in Miyagi over the break, and I’d like to see you. But it might be awkward.]]**

_[[Got yourself a boyfriend, Semimi!]]_

**[[Damn your Guess Monster instincts! Look, sorry, I wanted to explain properly. Hope it’s not an issue.]]**

_[[Nah, I’d like to meet him. Promise I won’t tell tales.]]_

**[[I don’t trust you at all. But he’s been forewarned!]]**

_[[Then cool. I’m happy for you, Eita.]]_

**[[And you?]]**

_[[Nope. Nothing. Zilch. It’s cool btw]]_

Maybe if he typed it out, he’d believe it. And Eita would too.

**[[Sorry. ]]**

_[[Don’t be. I’ll see you in Miyagi. We can take the piss out of Goshiki together.]]_

**[[Take care. See you soon. And thanks for understanding.]]**

He didn’t reply, but swallowed down a hard lump which had formed in his throat. He tried to rationalise it as a longing for the old days when things had seemed so much simpler because the aim had been Nationals and that had been it. But he knew it was more. He didn’t mind that Eita had a new boyfriend, he was happy for him, but in the seven months since they’d split, it did feel as if he were still treading water and everyone else was swimming.

Hoping things would look brighter in the morning, he collapsed on his bed, sleeping patchily until the light hit his window pane.

He groaned remembering last night, and groaned again knowing he should face Kita before he left. It’d be easier for both of them if he could approach this cheerily, dismiss what had happened and yet offer a sympathetic ear. However much he didn’t want to hear Kita’s love-life woes, he owed it to him to listen, to let him talk. They were friends above everything and he had to be there for him, even if it was like a punch to the gut.

It was as he walked to the kitchen, returning unearthed mugs to wash before he left, that he caught sight of Kita’s ajar door and heard his voice floating out into the hallway.

“No, things are fine.”

“I’ll be okay. Please don’t concern yourself.”

And then he must have disconnected because all Tendou could hear was a deep sigh, and then the creak of his desk chair.

 _Friends,_ he thought and wandered towards the fridge. _And friends look out for each other, just as he did yesterday._

Pulling out a small pan, he heated up some milk, found the cocoa powder and a bag of marshmallows. The only thing lacking was the cream which they’d run out of, but as he idly checked the freezer, he felt a small swell of relief when he saw his plain plastic box nestling there. Kita must have returned it the night before because he’d sure as hell not been in the mood to think straight.

“Hey,” he called softly outside Kita’s door. “You up to a visit.”

“Tendou?”

“Of course,” he replied. “I bring apologies and hot chocolate.”

“Apologies?” Kita sniffed and opened the door wider. “There’s no need, but the hot chocolate is … uh … looking different.”

“No cream, so I improvised,” Tendou said, keeping it light. Hope ice cream’s okay. At least this won’t be too cold for you, Kita-kun.”

“You added marshmallows.”

“Of course.”

“In a pattern.”

“Um, well, yeah. I know you like things to look right.”

“Am I that predictable?”

“Not at all, but in the nine months we’ve been living here, some things rub off on a person.”

He handed over the chocolate, hovered in the doorway, then stepped inside when Kita gestured towards his desk.

“Are you leaving soon?” he asked, moving to his futon.

“Ish.” He sat heavily on the chair, causing the chocolate to almost slop over the sides of his mug. “What do you think of the addition of ice cream?”

“Interesting.” He spooned some into his mouth, swallowed then stirred the rest. “About last night.”

 _Okay, let’s dive straight into this._ “Hey, look, I’m sorry if I forced things along. Didn’t realise you were still… um … attached. I’m used to relying on instinct, but it steers me wrong sometimes.”

“Pardon?” Kita stopped stirring and stared at him.

“My instinct. On court I was right about ninety-eight percent of the time. Okay, ninety five percent.” Flapping his hands, he tried to explain. “All right if you push me, then I’ll settle at ninety percent, eighty if you’re being really strict, but—” He stopped for air. “I’m talking too much again. Sorry.”

“What do you mean attached?”

“You and Atsumu-chan?” Tendou goggled at him. _Wow, you want me to spell this out?_ “C’mon, I knew you’d been seeing him, but sorry, I hadn’t realised you weren’t over him. I shoulda listened more-that’s what friends do, right?”

“I am over him.” Kita stared again. “It was a fling and it was fun. We’re still on reasonably friendly terms, but that’s it.”

“Then… Oh… is it someone else?”

“Is who someone else?”

“The rebound issue?” Wow, he’d never known Kita to be dense before.

“Not me,” Kita said, then sighed as if having to explain something to a very small child. “It’s you and Semi-san. I _know_ you’re not over him, and as much as I like you, Tendou-kun, I can’t be in the middle of it. I’m here if you need to talk—anytime—but I can’t put either of us through the awkwardness of a rebound relationship. That’s when things get messy.”

“Me and Eita? Huh? We finished months ago!”

“So you said, but you’re still upset, aren’t you? And I can’t come between you if you’re about to get back together.”

“But we’re not. He has a new boyfriend.” He paused. “And I’m fine about that. I never wanted Eita to be miserable. It was bad enough when we broke up, even if it was mutual.”

“I thought he dumped you.”

“Wow, give a guy a break, why don’t you?” Tendou said, the beginnings of a smile twitching at his lips. “Look, he brought it up first, but only cuz he’s clearer headed than me and could see we weren’t going to be any good at this long distance thing. And … well … he could see something happening long before I did.”

“What something?”

_Breathe. Trust your instincts. You’re right seventy-five percent of the time._

“A ‘you’ something,” Tendou muttered. “I kept talking about you.”

“Me?”

“Well, uh, yeah. I might have had this eensy crush on you at the beginning of the year.”

“But you were crying yesterday. I saw you looking at his photo and you had tears running down your cheeks.”

“Yesterday? What photo?” He screwed his eyebrows together. “Uh… my screensaver? It’s like a slide show of all the guys – not just Eita.”

“You were crying though,” Kita insisted. “I saw you scrubbing at your face and that’s why I made you hot chocolate, to cheer you up because … for some reason it’s sadder seeing you unhappy, than almost anyone else, Tendou-kun. You’re usually so … bright.”

“Crying?” He blinked trying to remember and then it came to him, and he gave a half horrified half amused gasp which appeared to startle Kita who edged a little further away. “I was watching a film,” Tendou explained. “Oh, wow this is embarrassing.”

“A film?”

“Um… yeah. It was Bmffmby.”

Kita’s lips twitched. “It was what?”

“Just a film,” he replied, hoping he sounded nonchalant. “And I suffer from allergies this time of year.”

“The medical condition of snow fever!” Kita retorted. His eyes narrowed. “What film?”

“It was Bambi!” he yelped, and collapsed into his arms on the desk. “Happy now! Gahd, that scene with the hunter gets me every time!”

There was silence. Tendou didn’t dare move, but opened one eye to see that Kita had sat back on the bed and was edging closer to him.

“It is a sad scene,” Kita murmured, his tone reassuring as if talking to a very young child.

“The saddest,” Tendou said mournfully, not adding that he’d been known to cry during The Simpsons.

“And it honestly had nothing to do with Semi-san.”

He lifted his head a fraction, caught Kita scrutinising him, and gave a watery type of smile which he hoped look sincere. “Nothing at all. I promise you. Eita and I are good friends now, and that’s all.”

“Oh.”

“And you and Atsumu are …”

“I’m not sure you’d class us as good friends,” Kita said, a touch waspishly, “but I want him to succeed and I still feel a great loyalty to the team.” He drank a little more of the chocolate before stretching over to place it on the desk. “I owe Inarizaki a huge amount for the faith they put in me, Tendou-kun. I can’t … I _won’t_ cut ties with them because I’ve moved on.”

“I understand. And I hate to say it but he’s a good looking guy. Everyone goes ka-ka over him.” He slurped the last of his hot chocolate, straightened up and touched Kita on the shoulder. “They go ka-ka over you, too.”

“That doesn’t interest me,” Kita replied, and trapped Tendou’s hand in his.

“Hey, back up a bit.” Tendou squinted as he tried to recall Kita’s words. “You said you _liked_ me?”

“Yes, I did say that, didn’t I?” Kita grinned. “What time are you leaving?”

He likes me!

“In about two hours,” he gasped. “I’d put it off but my Dad’s meeting me at the station and—”

“Have you packed?”

“Uh … yeah. Why?”

“Then…” He raised Tendou’s hand to his lips, kissing his fingertips. “Why don’t we watch Mushishi together and we can see what else we have in common?”

Getting up from the chair, he flopped down on the bed, waiting as Kita restarted his laptop. “Enjoying the experience of now, right?”

Kita chuckled, sank back onto the bed then took Tendou’s hand. “Exactly. Now where were we before both of us got confused?”

_**‘I walked ten thousand miles, ten thousand miles to see you**_ **_  
And every gasp of breath I grabbed at just to find you’_**

He cupped Kita’s face in his hands again, and slowly kissed him on the lips. “About here, I think.”


End file.
